Her Mother's Eyes
by hj295
Summary: Rose Potter returns from the third task, broken and struggling to cope with the loss of Cedric and her inability to save him. As her behavior becomes progressively more worrisome, Snape is the only one who seems able to get through to her. But will it be too little too late?
1. Chapter 1

All I could hear was buzzing. I could barely make out what those around me were saying through my pounding headache which was quickly morphing into a migraine. I ground my teeth together as my injured body continued to throb with pain, my teary eyes squeezed shut tight against the agony I felt. I directed my focus to Madame Pomfrey as she gently examined me and performed healing spells, with the reassuring pressure of Hermione's hand in my own as I tried to tune out Dumbledore and Fudges' shouting match.

"I told you Dumbledore, that Dementor needed to be there for my protection! That criminal could've killed me after all!"

Rose Potter heard Dumbledore take a steadying breath before replying, "That criminal, as you say, was the closest link we had to discovering Voldemort and his supporters and now it will be impossible for us to get any information whatsoever out of him."

"Come now Dumbledore, there's no proof of his return! For all we know Potter could've been hallucinating in that maze."

Rose's eyes snapped open at that statement, and bringing herself into a sitting position she leveled her gaze at Fudge before shrieking "Cedric is dead! Voldemort murdered him right in front of me, how could I make that up?"

My supply of adrenaline must've been nonexistent at this point, as it did nothing to help dull the pain that yelling at Fudge had caused me. It soon felt as if I couldn't breathe, and I doubled over at the pain in my ribcage as I tried to draw breath.

"Out, now!" Madame Pompfry yelled as she cast a diagnostic spell over me and helped Hermione to lay me back down onto the bed.

"You see Dumbledore, the girl is obviously hysterical! She can hardly—"

I attempted to rise again, but this time Ron held me down as Madame Pompfry practically growled "Minister, you must leave now or I will have someone remove you by force."

"Why I never" Fudge said aghast, harrumphing angrily as if to continue his idiotic tirade. Dumbledore interrupted him, requesting that Professor McGonagall take Fudge off of Hogwarts grounds so that he might apparate back to the Ministry immediately. I heard their footsteps as they exited the hospital wing, Fudge angrily muttering to himself until the door shut behind them.

Madame Pomfrey lifted my head from the pillow and began to pour potion after potion down my throat. As the pain began to ease from my body and my migraine slowly faded, I started to become aware of the new reality that had been so suddenly forced upon me. Life in a world with the constant, tangible threat of Lord Voldemort hanging over me and those I loved. And a world without Cedric…

As I blinked the tears from my eyes, Sirius morphed out of his animagus form and began stroking my hair back from my sweaty face.

"Rose, are you in pain?" he asked me, concern riddled in every inch of his face.

I shook my head no, turning my head to the side only to see the Weasley's looking at me with unmasked worry, as if I was something incredibly delicate.

Snape moved into my view suddenly, glaring hatefully at Sirius, and made a grab for his wand.

"Severus, no!" Dumbledore stepped in to block Snape as Sirius began to rise to his feet, a scowl on his face. "This is not the time, we all have work to do. Fudge has just made everything more difficult by denying Voldemort's return. I will explain later, but suffice to say that Sirius is not the guilty man you think he is."

Snape turned to glower at Dumbledore, outrage plain on his face, but eventually he began to lower his wand all the same. He met my warning gaze for a moment as he noticeably calmed himself, quickly turning away as Sirius sat back down beside me.

Dumbledore turned to me then, "Rose, we will return but I need as many Order members as possible right now." Dumbledore's gaze flickered meaningfully to Sirius for a moment before returning to mine, but it was enough. Sirius began to rise again, and it seemed as if all the stress and pain of the day burst out as I realized he would have to leave.

"No! Sirius, please!" I sobbed, "No, don't leave me alone!" I couldn't stop the tears this time. Seeing Cedric murdered, being tortured at the hands of Voldemort, and seeing Mad-Eye, someone I had trusted, morph into a Death Eater after trying to kill me was too much. I didn't want to be alone, I felt more vulnerable than I ever had before. And the thought of Sirius putting himself in danger for the Order was the tipping point. I didn't want to be brave anymore, I had been through enough tonight and couldn't control my emotions any longer.

Sirius looked broken hearted as he rushed to my side again. He took my hand and tried to reassure me as I began to hyperventilate "Come on Rosie, you know I need to go. I have to help them."

Snape strode over as well, tipping the calming draught that Madame Pompfry had yet to administer into my mouth with surprising gentleness as Sirius glowered up at him.

"Your godfather will be back before dawn, Potter" he said calmly as I swallowed the last of the potion. Whether it was the draft or Snape's reassuring words I don't know, but my breathing began to even out and Sirius bent down to kiss my forehead in farewell.

"Just be careful…" I moaned as I stifled my sobs, and Mr and Mrs. Weasley moved to stand beside Sirius and Snape as members of the Order.

"Don't you worry, dear. Just focus on getting some rest now, hmm?" said Mrs. Weasley, giving me a tender hug and kiss on the cheek. My heart squeezed at her gesture and in slight fear of the possibility that I could lose one of them tonight as they carried out their missions. Dumbledore gave me a quick look before turning to leave the hospital wing, the rest of the Order on his tail. Snape glanced back too, his usual angry scowl replaced with a look of regret. As the door shut, Madame Pomfrey came over to me with what I knew to be a sleeping draught. She didn't bother with the changing screen, instead siphoning away as much dirt and blood from my clothes as she could with her wand. I drifted off almost immediately after swallowing only a gulp of the blue sleeping potion, with Ron and Hermione both by my side.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to a nearly pitch-black room and the sound of nearby whispering. My head felt foggy, but I quickly identified the voices of Madame Pomfry and Professor Snape, speaking in strained tones. I attempted to sit up and demand Snape tell me what had happened with the Order missions that night and whether Sirius was safe, but my throat was too parched to try.

Spotting a glass of water on my bedside table, I reached out for it only to succeed in knocking it to the ground. I cringed at what sounded like an explosion in the echoey and previously silent wing as the glass shattered on the tile floor, scattering pieces everywhere.

"Potter, what happened?" Pompfry questioned as she rushed over and quickly vanished the shards that littered the ground.

"I needed water" I managed to croak in reply as Snape glowered disapprovingly at me. He reached to fill another glass from the jug on my bedside table, spotting the unfinished bottle of sleeping draught that I had yet to finish from yesterday as he did so.

"Potter, you shouldn't even be awake right now! You are meant to consume the entire dose of this potion at once in order for it to be effective, not take one measly sip! How do you expect to recover if you neglect to rest properly?" He demanded, glaring at me with anger.

I flinched back from him in slight fear, sighing in relief when Madame Pompfry took the blame for not ensuring that I finish all of the potion. The last thing I needed was detention in the dungeons with Snape, who I noticed was sporting fresh cuts across his hands and wrists and deep circles under his eyes. His wounds soon reminded me of my original question and I desperately croaked out,

"Is Sirius alright? What about the rest of the Order, where is everyone?"

Snape's mouth twitched as if in annoyance, and he looked down at the floor before meeting my eyes. He handed me the glass of water he had poured and told me I needed to drink before he would answer. I pathetically tried to control my shaking hand that had caused the first glass of water to tumble, but Snape soon grew impatient. With a wave of his wand a straw appeared, which he placed in the glass and then held to my cracked lips. I never in a million years could've imagined him doing this for me and I looked up at him suspiciously as I drank. Once I had greedily finished the glass, with Snape reminding me to breathe before I drowned myself, I met his gaze again.

"What happened?" I demanded, sounding more confident than I had before.

Snape paused and looked away from me, turning to Madame Pompfry whom he seemed to be engaging in a silent conversation. Almost as if they were deciding what to tell me? Meaning that something had gone wrong?

"Please, I need to know now!" I begged of them.

Snape sharply reprimanded me then, threatening to take away points if I couldn't control myself better. Sighing, he met my gaze warily.

"Sirius and Tonks were on an assignment together. I will not divulge what they were doing, but the plan went…amiss."

He could see I was beginning to panic and quickly continued,

"They're both alive, but Sirius took a curse that had been aimed for Tonks. No one has been able to identify just what the curse was, but it seems to have induced a sort of coma. Dumbledore is with him now and seeing as Sirius cannot be transported to St. Mungos for fear he will be identified, Madame Pomfry and I have been discussing possible treatment options for him."

I gaped in shock as my mind tried to process what he was telling me. That I might lose Sirius too? So soon after Cedric? I let out a moan, covering my mouth with my hands and lowering my head to my lap as I tried to control my breathing, my newly healed ribs protesting in pain as I did so. Why was it that those I loved always seemed to be in danger?

"His prospects are not dire as of now and someone will be with him around the clock, monitoring his condition—"

I stopped crying at these words and began to raise my head from my lap, interrupting Snape to suggest "I'll go! I can take care of him!"

Snape looked at me aghast as Madame Pompfry reprimanded "No Rose, you're not strong enough yet. You need to rest."

"Indeed" Snape concurred, "You would be of no use to the dog in your current state."

"Don't call him that! And I need to be with him, I can rest at Grimmauld Place anyway!"

"Rose, no. I cannot allow that, it's enough that Sirius and Tonks are both being cared for there. No, you need to stay here where you're better protected" Madame Pomfry declared.

"Protected? How do you figure that, a bloody teacher who worked and lived in this castle all year nearly killed me yesterday!"

"Ten points for back talking Miss Potter. No one will harm you while I'm in this castle and you are to follow every direction Madame Pomfry gives you from now on without question, understood?" Snape growled at me, his eyes glinting dangerously.

I almost kept fighting them, the urge to be with Sirius overwhelming me, but my body had had enough. Defeated, I leaned my throbbing head back against the pillow. I accepted the pain potion Pomfry gave me as well as the remaining dose of sleeping draught Snape thrust into my hands and my eyes soon closed as my tensed body began to relax.

As I drifted off, the sunrise began to cast yellow, glittering shadows around the dark hall. I stared blankly at Snape as my eyes became heavier and heavier, barely managing to say what I needed to before drifting off completely.

"You said he would be back before dawn…"


	3. Chapter 3

I stared down into Lily's eyes as they closed in exhaustion, feeling an utter sense of guilt at the accusation in those eyes. Why would I have said something like that to her? I knew I couldn't promise the return of her godfather, yet I had made out that I could. I knew it had reassured the child in the moment, but what damage would Sirius' death inflict on her if he didn't recover? I silently reprimanded myself as she slept, a line of worry still creasing her brow. At least she was safe for now, I thought, and my promise to Lily had been upheld.

The fear I had felt when Rose returned with Diggory's body had frozen me to my seat. I had been sitting in the stands with McGonagall after going into the maze to retrieve Fleur from the vines that had gotten to her when Rose had appeared, the cup in one hand and Diggory in the other. People began to cheer, not knowing that anything was amiss until Dumbledore ran towards the two champions. When McGonagall jumped up I followed suit, terrified of once again seeing those dead, green eyes that had been Lily's after she was murdered. My dark mark suddenly burned me as we raced down the stairs and I feared the worst as I reached them.

When we reached her Rose was clinging to the obviously dead body of Diggory as if her life depended on it, her face in the crick of his neck and resting on his chest. Her entire frame was shaking and I swore internally as Dumbledore comforted her and tried to pry her hands from the boy with little success. I quickly went forward to assist him, and it was easy to see that she desperately needed medical attention. After some force I lifted her away from the body, just in time for Amos Diggory to come forward and see his dead son. Rose began to sob at his screams and Mad-Eye suddenly appeared, offering to take the girl back to the castle.

I nodded without hesitation as he supported her and began to pull her from the scene, though she resisted forcefully. Later, when we burst into Mad-Eye's office after realizing he had broken Dumbledore's orders, the girl still looked prepared to fight despite the fact that she could barely stand. It was only after Dumbledore had finished interrogating Crouch that she had thudded to the floor in a near faint, unable to cope with the trauma she had endured any longer and going into shock. We quickly transported her to the hospital wing then, where she'd been ever since, still recovering as she would be for the next few days.

No, Snape corrected himself. He doubted she would ever completely recover from Diggory's loss. Their…involvement had been apparent to him since they had both been chosen to represent Hogwarts in the tournament. He had felt the urge to protect her then, surprising himself with the fatherly behavior he was developing towards her. He had hated the Potter child from the first, but as she grew older and more and more like her mother he was unable to despise her as he once had, though outwardly at least he pretended to.

Her romance with Diggory had gone public at the Yule ball, where they had attended together looking absolutely smitten. McGonagall had tittered away to him and Dumbledore about how proud she was that Hogwarts best seekers had ended up together, how Rose's choice of green dress perfectly matched her eyes, and that she was confident the Triwizard Cup would be awarded to Hogwarts. I had removed myself from her musings then, passing by Rose and Diggory as I exited. Rose was laughing hysterically at something he had whispered to her, a confident and adoring smile on his face as he watched her begin to cry with laughter as they twirled around the dance floor. It was the happiest I had seen her, but now even in her sleep, she looked so broken and weak.

I began to move away from her as she rested uneasily, with a sudden determination that she would not lose her godfather too. No matter how much I hated him, I knew I owed it to Rose and to Lily to save Sirius. I gathered the supplies I had requested from Madame Pomfrey earlier and departed the hospital, moving quickly so I might help Dumbledore to heal him in time.


	4. Chapter 4

"Fred, George! Will you pipe down!"

"C'mon Hermione, laughter is the best medicine isn't it?"

"If you haven't noticed, Rose is unconscious right now and can't exactly hear your jokes anyway!" Hermione hissed.

I groaned at that, slowly fluttering my eyes open as Fred cheered "Aha! See, our unrivaled humor has revived her!

"Oh, just shut it all of you!" Ginny huffed, and I felt her hand rest on my arm over the sheet that had been tucked under my chin.

I chuckled at their squabbling, blinking away the bright sunlight that was streaming through the high windows opposite my bed. Ron, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys surrounded me as I awoke, with Hermione immediately flitting away to notify Madame Pomfrey.

"How're you feeling Rosie?" Ron asked, shuffling his chair over so he could sit closer to me.

"Better" I replied, softly smiling to reassure everyone. I didn't want them to worry more than I knew they already had.

Hermione returned with Madame Pomfrey then, who immediately began casting diagnostic spells over me. I was definitely sore, but I could breathe comfortably again and my head felt clear.

"Yes, yes you are healing quite nicely. Though, the cut on your arm…" Pomfrey trailed off as her eyes flitted down to linger on the knife wound that Pettigrew had inflicted to draw some of my blood. I shivered at the memory and Pomfrey met my eyes again. "It won't heal by magic, I tried everything I could think of last night, so you'll just have to come back in a few days so I can replace the bandage. I don't know how those muggle doctors can cope, I really don't" she muttered, seemingly to herself.

"Come back? So I can leave soon?" I asked, sitting up excitedly.

"Yes, this afternoon I think. I'll administer the last of the healing potion to mend your ribs and attend to your other injuries, then I'll release you."

I smiled at that and it was returned by all those around me except for Hermione, who had a deep frown and a furrowed brow on her face.

"But I still expect you to rest, mind you! Take it easy, or you'll be sent straight back to me!" she threatened, and I nodded readily.

"But why would her arm not heal? How did she get that cut?"

"I imagine it was inflicted with dark magic, am I right Miss Potter?"

I nodded, ducking my head as comprehension dawned upon Hermione.

I felt embarrassed as everyone stared at me, asking questions with their eyes that I wasn't ready to answer. I stared down at the bed sheet instead, unable to meet anyone's gaze. The black dog hair that stuck to the sheets from when Sirius had been here soon caught my attention and the tears in my eyes had to be blinked away.

"And Sirius? Is he going to be alright?" I whispered, fear making my stomach clench.

"Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape are with him and Nymphadora now. They assure me that they are making progress, but it may be some time before they are out of danger. I may soon join them to help, once all students leave for the summer of course."

I nodded in understanding and Ginny squeezed my shoulder in support as my tears finally spilled over. I quickly wiped them away, still unable to meet anyone's eye. Madame Pomfrey then handed me the rest of the healing potion as well as a calming draught as I sniffled my tears away.

"Now, if you all want to join your classmates in the Great Hall for lunch that would be good. Ms. Granger, if you could stay? I'm sure Rose could use some help bathing."

They all nodded, murmuring words of comfort as they began to shuffle out. Fred and George both leaned down simultaneously to kiss either side of my cheeks before they left with a "Hang in there, Rosie." They'd become even more brotherly towards me after this year, determined that if they couldn't enter the Triwizard Tournament themselves that I would win with their advice and training.

I was soon pulled into a sitting position. My filthy clothes had practically ruined the bed beneath me, stained with dirt and blood so the bedding could hardly be called white anymore. I leaned heavily on Hermione as I rose to my unsteady feet, surprised at how weak I felt. We shuffled towards the shower room as Pomfrey went ahead to start drawing my bath. I stumbled a few times, but Hermione made sure to catch me before I could tumble to the floor.

She lowered me down onto the stool that was beside the steaming bath, resting her hand on my knee as she pulled my shoes off.

"Hermione?" I nearly whispered. She paused and meet my gaze steadily, "Yeah?"

"Do you know? I mean, did Dumbledore tell you all what happened?"

She nodded, answering softly "He told us generally what happened, but wanted you to be able to tell us your side of things too."

I paused for a minute, appreciating the fact that Dumbledore hadn't revealed everything that had happened before I could. I inhaled sharply before saying "I'm not sure I'm ready…"

"Of course you're not! I didn't expect you to be…when you're ready, or if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know I'll be here for you." She said, exuding strength and comfort as she spoke.

"Thanks 'Mione" I whispered, nearly becoming chokeded up once again at her declaration.

"C'mon now, arms up!" She said, coaxing me to lift my arms so she could pull my shirt off over my head. She finished helping me undress and slowly lowered me into the heavenly warm tub, telling me to shout if I needed help.

My muscles immediately began to relax and I wasted no time in scrubbing my skin raw to get the filth off of my body. The water quickly became dirty as I scrubbed and I couldn't help but be reminded of the last time I'd been in this shower room, making the tub water just as filthy as I was now.

It was after the second task, when I'd been given some pepper up potion by Madame Pomfrey and ordered into the warm tub before I could get ill from being in the cold lake water for an hour. Cedric, ever the gentleman, had been waiting for me to resurface from the Black Lake with a fuzzy robe, staring anxiously over the docks as he searched for my in the depthless water.

I really did think I was going to drown after the grindylows came for me. My head became so foggy as I lost my ability to breathe, but I came to consciousness just in time to propel myself from the water with one of the spells Fred and George had taught me. As I landed on the deck, gasping for air, Cedric was the first one to reach me.

"Rose, thank God!" He'd wrapped me up to the point that I was more towel than body, and Snape came over to examine me as Dumbledore began to announce the scores. He muttered a healing spell for the grindylow bites covering my neck, his face a mask of concentration before he gave a satisfactory nod at his work and disappeared into the crowd once again.

"I was so worried, I tried to go in after you but McGonagall wouldn't let me!"

"I know, I'm so sorry I scared you, but I'm fine now" I chattered, my teeth slamming together as I shivered.

He'd kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly to his side, sighing in relief as he gathered me to him so I would get warm. I began to sob at the memory as I sat in the bath, but soon pulled myself together since I knew Hermione would come for me if I didn't get out soon. I rose from the water, thankful that that the summer holiday was near so I could go back to the Dursley's and grieve in peace, unremarkable in the eyes of the muggles that surrounded me.

—

 _Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! I'm so excited to be writing this story, it's my first fanfic so I'm thrilled at the positive response. I wanted everyone to know that I won't have internet access for the rest of the month, so unfortunately I won't be able to upload any new chapters for this story until then. However, I will definitely be writing during that time, so you can expect lots of new material as soon as I'm able to upload again:)_


	5. Chapter 5

Madame Pomfrey let me leave a few hours after I'd bathed and dressed, satisfied that she had pumped as many healing potions into me as was possible. Under threat that I'd be put right back into the hospital wing if I didn't strictly follow her instructions, she'd demanded that I eat and rest properly and be sure not to exert myself for the rest of term. I'd agreed and quickly exited into the corridors, where I began to wander aimlessly. Hoping to do anything in order to avoid being still, I felt as if I could walk around every inch of the castle without tiring. My pace gradually began to quicken as I sped through the halls, most of which were empty as most students were either studying for final exams or in class at this time of day. Pomfrey had told me that I wasn't expected to return to classes the following morning unless I felt up to it, which wasn't likely seeing as a memorial service was being held for Cedric tomorrow evening.

I moved past corridor after corridor, seeing little else but the floor I walked across as I hung my head low. I realized I hadn't been properly alone since the night of the last task. Hadn't had time to process what had happened or had a proper cry as everyone would expect me to. But I didn't feel anything besides a terrible loneliness as I walked, a yearning for someone I would never be able to replace; a feeling of nostalgia in a way. And then I thought of Sirius, how much pain he must be in at least partially because of me. I hadn't been strong enough to fight Voldemort off, to defeat him before he could come to power again. I'd only escaped by luck, with the help of the dead who'd appeared when I most needed them. All I'd done is survive, as Cedric had commanded me to.

His ghost had been the last to appear in the graveyard as I fought Voldemort, and for a fleeting moment, I'd thought he'd returned to me. But he was only an apparition, a haunting figure of the strong young man I knew he'd once been.

"Rose, keep fighting" he'd called "Don't let up, run for the portkey and we'll protect you for as long as we can."

At the sound of his voice, I'd felt my resolve wavering, my wand arm beginning to drop as grief at seeing him and my parents began to drag me down.

"Cedric, I'm sorry!" I'd cried, my face crumpling in agony as I looked up at his pale face.

"No Rose, don't stop yet! Keep fighting him, please do it for me! Don't give up now, you'll make it out of this I swear!"

Breathing heavily, trying to muster whatever strength I could find left within myself, I'd straightened up until I heard my mother's voice for the first time, telling me I must break the connection with Voldemort's wand. I'd sprinted faster than I thought possible to Cedric's body after that, thumping down next to him as I clasped his already cold hand within mine and summoned the Triwizard cup.

As my mind came back to the present I began to stumble, my eyes fogging with tears. I fell to my knees on the rug that lay beneath me. I was breathing heavily as sobs began to once again force their way through my throat. I curled into myself and lay on my side on the cold floor. My eyes rose to the ceiling and the stone walls seemed to be closing in around me as I began to hyperventilate. I knew I needed to escape and, becoming desperate, clumsily sprinted back the way I'd come from, stumbling into the walls and furniture as I tried to get away from the nightmare I found myself living in. But sprinting as I was wasn't enough, even though my still healing body was begging me to slow down. I didn't want to be weak anymore and making up my mind, I made my way outside the castle to a place where I knew I could clear my mind and be safe.

—

"So, you believe he is making progress then Albus?"

I sat opposite the headmaster, a magnificent wooden desk, and Fawkes between us. We had just returned from Grimmauld Place where we'd been caring for Sirius and Tonks, leaving them in the care of other Order members so we could return to Hogwarts to rest.

"Yes, I do. Slowly, but he is most definitely healing now. Clever of you, thinking to try the Tactu Sanitatem potion, Severus. It will probably save his life."

I nodded my head in acknowledgment at his statement, relieved that Black was finally healing now.

"Nonetheless, I will still send Poppy to him and Tonks. It will be weeks before either of them will be completely out of danger I think, and I would feel better having her with them. You and I can handle any injuries the students manage to sustain before they go home on Friday."

"Yes, I think it would be wise for Poppy to stay with them in Grimmauld Place for as long as possible," I replied.

We sat in silence for a minute before Dumbledore began to rise from his chair.

"Odd, isn't it? Your sworn enemy now owes you his life, Severus. Quite strange considering you've wanted him dead for most of your life." Eyes twinkling as he smiled, I drew breath to reply but then my eye was drawn to one of the high windows in the headmaster's office. A small figure astride a broom, obviously a student, was flying in the Quidditch pitch.

Dumbledore noticed my distraction, obvious surprise on his face as he caught view of the figure outside his window.

"They shouldn't be flying in this thunderstorm, Severus…" he trailed off as the flyer began to weave and swerve between the goal posts, and we both gasped as the hood of the rider feel to reveal an unmistakable mass of curly, red hair.

"What on Earth does she think she's doing?" I thundered, quickly pulling my traveling cloak around myself once again as I made for the door.

"Bring her back to the hospital wing, Severus. I'll go down there now to tell Poppy about our plan."

I nodded curtly, rushing down the steps as I moved towards the pitch. Idiot girl! What was she thinking, going out in the cold rain in her state! No doubt she'd catch cold from this little excursion of hers at the very least, her immune system and magical core had already been so weakened!

Anger rippling off of me, I flung the door before me out of the way and was meet with a lashing storm of rain.

—

The wind rippled through me, forming almost a cocoon of air around my body as I soared around the Quidditch pitch. I'd never pushed by Firebolt to go so fast before, not even in a match but I was holding nothing back now. I zoomed as fast as I could from one edge of the stadium to another, letting my broom fall until it grazed the grass below me before pulling it up to an almost 180-degree rise, gripping the handle as hard as I could so I didn't slip off the end. It had been so long since I'd flown, all my attention had been directed on the tournament and not on Quidditch this year. I wondered how far up I could go before I had to stop?

I continued to rise until I felt raindrops begin to fall. I pulled into a stop and the rain fell across my face as I turned my eyes upwards to view the dark clouds overhead. Occasionally a bolt of lightning would flash across the sky and I smiled at how free I finally felt. I soon went back down to the pitch and began weaving exercises through the goal posts, laughing giddily when I barely nicked by one of the curves. Cedric and I had raced like this one sunny afternoon and he had smiled indulgently at me when I'd beaten him.

"It's a good thing I'm leaving school this year, there's no way I can keep up with you anymore" He'd said as we landed back on the pitch.

I'd laughed and walked over to him, putting my arm around his waist and pulling him into a side hug as I smiled.

"Honestly Rose, you're going to the pros if you keep going at this rate."

"Oh please, you've already given me more compliments than I deserve for today" I'd replied, but his words secretly thrilled me.

"I'm being serious, Rose. After the tournament, you could start training more if you want, use the summer for practice and you'd be unstoppable!"

I'd rolled my eyes and sarcastically replied: "Stop, now you're really going to make me blush."

He'd turned me to face him then, his earnest hazel eyes meeting mine as he tucked my wayward hair behind my ears.

"I know that you…that you don't like to talk about living with your Aunt and Uncle, and the term is ending soon." I'd looked down at my feet then, the smile falling slowly from my face as I waited for him to continue.

"We just have the last tournament and then we'll be home for the summer, so I just thought…when I don't have Auror training I could come visit you? I know you have to go back home for a little while at least, but once you're at the Weasleys? We could train together then if you'd like, I just don't want you to think because I'm leaving school we can't stay together Rose. I want more than anything to be with you…" he'd trailed off and let out a long breath as he rested his forehead against mine.

His speech had taken me off guard and I could never have imagined Cedric looking so vulnerable as he did then if I hadn't known him better. Everyone, mostly Ron, thought he was too arrogant but I knew then that it wasn't true.

I lifted my head and smiled, feeling absolutely smitten with him as I softly said "Of course you can, I'd honestly be offended if you didn't! Maybe Auror training will whip you into shape and you can actually beat me for once when we train this summer."

He'd thrown his head back and laughed in relief, swinging me around in his arms before our lips met.

My throat tightened at the sweetness of the still raw memory, but any more daydreaming of mine was cut short as someone shouted up at me from the field. I could barely make out the figure below me through the relentless rain, but I flew down and landed all the same.

Snape quickly emerged from the foggy field in front of me and his anger was nearly tangible as he strode towards me.

He pulled my broom roughly from my hands before pointing towards the castle behind him, "Inside, right now!" he said as his face twisted with rage.

"But sir, my broom!" I cried out, worried over why he'd taken it from me in the first place.

"You will be lucky if you ever see this broom again in your lifetime, Miss Potter!" He threatened.

"Now get inside before you become hypothermic!"

I glared at him through the pouring rain, but I could tell Snape was determined. Plus, the cold and my jogging excursion from earlier were beginning to catch up with me so I pushed past him in annoyance as I moved back up towards the castle, wondering whether my punishment would be as terrible as it usually was when I'd pissed off Snape.


	6. Chapter 6

As we trudged up the grassy hill leading back to the castle I stole a quick glance up at Snape. He wore his characteristic glower and seemed as tense as I'd ever seen him, his shoulders hunched against the strong wind that showed no sign of letting up. The rain continued to pelt down as we slowly moved towards the castle, the wind pushing at us from the front and making it difficult to move forward.

He didn't speak or make any noise until I started to shiver, then he sighed in annoyance and a look of exasperation passed across his face. He grabbed my arm to try and pull me along, increasing his pace so that we might get inside more quickly. I soon couldn't keep up with his long strides though and clumsily slipped on the wet grass. I stumbled onto my hands and knees to catch myself but managed to twist my wrist in the process. Snape had tried to catch me before I could fall, reaching for my other arm to steady me but it was no use. I let out a hiss of pain as my wrist began to throb and he kneeled down on the grass beside me.

"Are you hurt?" He nearly had to scream over the storm to be heard.

"My wrist, but it's nothing" I replied, barely able to see him as my hair blew all over my face, getting caught in my eyelashes.

Snape seemed to purse his lips at that, eyes glinting in anger as he helped me to my feet, being careful not to touch my wrist. I shrugged out of the way when he tried to pull his cloak around me, telling him not to bother. He looked…surprised? Possibly offended, but I turned away from him before he could respond.

Once we'd made it inside I quickly cast a drying spell on myself using my uninjured hand and he did the same before turning to face me, his face darkening markedly now that we were safe inside.

"Of all the stubborn, pig-headed, idiotic things you could do! Must you endanger yourself so soon after escaping death at the hands of the Dark Lord?"

I almost wanted to tell him that my new life was beginning to seem like a form of death but held my tongue. I took more interest in the floor and the wet marks my shoes had made upon the stone, avoiding any eye contact with him.

"I can't hear you, Potter. Tell me why you decided to go out flying in this near hurricane? Surely you had the brain power to realize it was a stupid idea or do you lack any skills in self-preservation?"

I lifted my head then, glaring daggers at his condescending comment.

"Oh yes, I was able to escape Voldemort because I have no instinct for self-preservation!" I replied sarcastically, knowing this answer would antagonize him. I then rolled my eyes in annoyance and turned my back on him, intent on heading up to Griffyndor tower to see Ron and Hermione.

"You will immediately accompany me to the Hospital Wing, Miss Potter. And if you use that tone again you'll earn yourself detention"

Trying to ignore him as much as possible, I turned and nodded my head in assent before walking in the direction of the Hospital Wing, Snape trailing directly behind me.

It wasn't until we reached the entrance door that I asked: "Why do I have to come here anyway?"

"I was under the impression you had injured your wrist, Potter" He sarcastically answered. As he mentioned it, I was reminded of the sharp pain emanating from my injured wrist.

"Besides, the headmaster asked that I bring you back here. Doubtless, he'll have some words for you about your reckless little excursion" Acid dripped from every word and his lip pulled back from his teeth as he pushed me through the door.

As I came into, or rather as I was pulled by the arm into, the hospital wing I noticed Pomfrey and Dumbledore speaking with one another at her desk. At the sound of the door opening, they both looked up as if they had been waiting for us.

Pomfrey pointed to one of the beds and Snape steered me to it. I grudgingly dropped onto it, the springs squeaking loudly as I did so. It didn't take long for Madame Pomfrey to make her displeasure known, sighing as she asked why I couldn't follow instructions for just one day?

"I did!" I retorted, beginning to lose my temper. "You said not to strain myself and I didn't."

"Your current injuries say otherwise, Potter" Snape intervened, glaring at me over his folded arms.

"Yes, you were meant to relax and rest. I would not classify broom riding under that category" Pomfrey replied more kindly.

I sighed as she worked over me for what seemed like the umpteenth time, quickly mending my sprained wrist. Dumbledore stood at the foot of my bed, quietly but intently observing the situation as he usually did.

Pomfrey finished quickly and smoothed the sheets over me before she left my side, telling me to take better care of myself.

Dumbledore moved to my bedside then, patting my now-healed hand as he sat down.

"I have some good news for you Rose," he began, smiling down at me. "Sirius is recovering now. Madame Pomfrey will be staying at Grimmauld Place to oversee his recovery starting tomorrow."

An almost maniacal laugh escaped me as I realized I wouldn't need to worry about him anymore and he wouldn't leave me like Cedric had. I felt that burden lift from my chest and my eyes watered with happiness and relief as a wide smile broke across my face.

"When can I see him? Can I stay with him now?" I needed to know, wanted nothing more than to be with him and make sure he would be okay.

"Not yet, but soon. I promise."

I nodded my head, happy that I at least wouldn't have to wait too long to see him again.

"And as you know, the memorial for Cedric will be tomorrow evening."

I didn't reply, my throat becoming thick and my eyes starting to sting.

"I think, in light of what has happened, it would be a good idea for you to attend."

I nodded once again, but still refused to meet his eyes.

"And you will be heading back to your Aunt and Uncle the following day, so please look after yourself until then Rose."

His piercing blue eyes meet mine and I told him that I would, and I was about to ask him if I'd be able to visit the Weasleys during the summer before Snape interrupted me.

"Yes, we can't be there to look after childish students during the summer Potter so do try and look after yourself if you can."

"I never got the chance to be a child, Sir. So don't worry about that" I answered unwaveringly.

Snape rolled his eyes in disbelief and Dumbledore intervened then, saying "Let us not be at each other's throats when we have such happy news about Sirius, agreed?"

"Alright" I conceded, determined not to let Snape get under my skin.

The entrance door to the hospital creaked open then, and Professor McGonagall appeared, quickly making her way over to us.

Her green robes swishing around her feet, she stopped behind Dumbledore and began wringing her hands.

"I'm happy you're recovered, Rose."

I acknowledged her with a nod of my head before she continued.

"Mr. and Mrs. Diggory would like to speak with you if you're up to it, Rose. They're eager to see you."

I paused for a moment, realizing that I hadn't thought of them at all since that first night when Mr. Diggory had been screaming at Dumbledore for his son. I felt horrible at this, as I knew my own grief was nothing in comparison to what theirs must be. But I wasn't sure I could witness that kind of grief without breaking down completely once again, and I wasn't sure what they wanted from me. Were they angry? Disappointed I hadn't been able to save him? I wasn't sure how much Cedric had told them about our relationship, or how I was supposed to be able to comfort them. I was a coward. Not a Gryffindor lion, but a spineless coward who couldn't even face the parents of her dead boyfriend.

But I knew I had to see them, it wouldn't be right not to and it would be expected of me.

I took a deep breath and instead of replying began to stand. I moved past Snape to stand in front of Professor McGonagall, who inclined her head in approval of my decision. My terror must have been plain though because she wrapped her arm around my back before leading me away.


	7. Chapter 7

"I assure you Miss Potter, there is nothing to be nervous about. They bear you no ill will, I swear it" Professor McGonagall calmly reassured me in her soothing Scottish voice.

My throat felt too restricted to vocalize any response, so I gave a slow nod instead. My heart was racing and my palms sweating as we rapidly approached McGonagall's office, and in what seemed like the space of a few minutes we reached the carved oak door that signaled our arrival. Even as we entered the room, I was rapidly thinking of how to act or what I could possibly say to Diggory's had their backs to the door, but once we entered they quickly turned to face us. I had yet to see or interact with Mrs. Diggory before, but she had a round and kind looking face which reassured me. Cedric's parents both looked exhausted, their eyes red-rimmed. I was fairly sure Amos Diggory's robes were the same as those that he had been wearing the night of the third task.

"Hello, Rose. I am so happy to know you" Mrs. Diggory began, moving forward to shake my hand.

"You as well" I croaked, returning her smile with a soft one of my own.

Mr. Diggory stood behind his wife, but when his eyes met mine they seemed to communicate an understanding of what had passed between us on that horrible night…

I had fallen, along with Cedric's body, with a thud on the grassy entrance to the maze, and I had kept my arms around him tightly, trying to will some sort of protection upon him. I remember there had been screams, but all I could do was keep my face tucked tight into his neck, smelling the cologne I had bought him as a Christmas gift still on him. There had been nothing but me and him in those fleeting moments before I had been forcibly pulled away, trying to hold onto him and keep him safe for as long as possible. I had attempted to block out the screams and sobs that began to arise from the crowds, with Amos's yells being the most piercing of all. I immediately recognized his voice once he started to speak back in McGonagall's office as a result.

"Rose, we are so proud of you. And so happy that you're safe." Mr. Diggory began, his wife nodding in assent beside him. "And we can never give enough thanks to you for how happy you made our son, and the love you gave to him. But nonetheless, we thank you with the most sincere gratitude and appreciation."

My mind ran blank for a minute as I tried to formulate a response to this unexpected interaction. They were thanking me? After I had been the one to tell Cedric to take the cup with me so we could win together, and led him to his death?

I had been processing for too long apparently, as McGonagall responded for me "I'm sure Rose is greatly appreciative of your kind words, aren't you?" she prompted me.

I nodded my assent, even though it made a pang of guilt go through me to do it. How could I be appreciative of their thanks when it was so ill deserved?

"Well, we don't want to keep you longer dear. We just wanted to tell you that if you ever need anything at all, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. We would very much like to keep in touch with you if you're agreeable."

"Yes, of course. I would like that too." I replied, eager to say something, or do anything for them that might make amends for what I had done to their son.

They both nodded somberly, Cedric's mother coming forward to kiss me on both cheeks before they turned to leave, Amos's arm wrapped tightly around his wife.

Watching them go, I felt as if there was more I needed to say. I hadn't really said anything at all yet or given anything which might help them.

"He was so brave." I said loudly, and they both turned to face me. "He wasn't afraid at all, there was no fear in him. He…he truly saved my life and I-" my throat threatened to let sobs escape for a moment, but I recovered myself so that I could finish. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save him."

They both came forward and embraced me at once, reassuring me that they placed no blame for what had happened to me at all, and thanking me for speaking about him.

"We will see each other again soon, I know it," Mrs. Diggory said as they turned to leave. I didn't think to ask whether she was referring to myself or to reassure herself about Cedric until after they had left.

McGonagall had kept her distance during this exchange but soon moved forward to stand beside me.

"The Diggory's also wanted me to tell you that they'll be taking Cedric's…body" she harrumphed and then continued on "with them, once they leave the castle. Apparently there is a family plot in the mountains in Northern Wales somewhere, and that's where he'll be laid to rest. It's almost as high in the sky as Cedric ever was on his broom, is what his father said."

I smiled, "Good," I said. "He'll like that."

"And-" she hesitated again. "And, they wished me to convey that if you want to see him before they left, to feel free to do so. If you want to say goodbye to him."

"Yes. Yes, absolutely." I didn't falter in my response for one second.

"If you're sure…I must attend to some other matters, but Cedric is near the dungeons right now. The house elves have been preparing him for…for the burial. Professor Snape is in his office now, his last class should have just ended. He will show you to Cedric if that is what you wish."

"Thank you, professor," I said, the emotion evident in my voice. Before she could say anything else, I began walking to Snape's classroom, eager to be near to and see Cedric once again.

I knocked loudly and heard him say "Enter" from the other side of the door. I walked up to his desk and was surprised to see that his usual glower seemed to have been replaced by a look of somber exhaustion.

"Professor McGonagall said that you could take me to see Cedric?" I questioned.

He looked shocked for a moment before nodding yes, asking if I thought that it would be wise to do so.

"I need to see him" I pleaded, trying to convey the urgency that I felt to Snape without him becoming annoyed and delaying me from seeing Cedric for even longer.

"Very well. Follow me, I don't have much time."


	8. Chapter 8

Her footsteps, following at a fast pace behind me, echoed as we walked down the chilly halls of the dungeons. She had entered my office with a desperate gleam in her eyes, and though I knew this wouldn't be easy on her, I understood her desire to be near Cedric again. After all, I had clutched Lily to me for what could've been hours after finding her in Godric's Hollow. That night had shattered any remanent hope I'd possessed, and Lily's eyes had been blank and cold as I pleaded with her to wake up, no matter how impossible I knew it was for her to do so. Rose had been screaming and crying behind me in her crib, blood dripping into her eyes from the new lightning-shaped cut that seemed to have been carved into her forehead. I'd arisen at the sight of it, laying Lily delicately back onto the rubble-scattered floor, and with shaking hands tried to heal the cut to no avail. Chubby arms reached up to me as she continued to cry, wanting to be held and comforted by me, a stranger and the one responsible for not keeping her mother alive.

I'm brought out of my reverie by Rose's voice behind me, "Is Sirius really going to be okay? Have you seen him?"

"As the headmaster told you, Potter, he will make a full recovery in time. Though why you would be worried about Black when you've managed to land yourself in the hospital wing on two separate occasions over the course of a few days is beyond me."

She nodded her head slowly, clearing her throat as she did so, not responding to my jab at all. Probably distracted by thinking of what was to come.

We continued walking in silence, coming to the room where I knew the house elves had been working to clean Cedric's body. I knocked, and a house elf with large, green eyes pulled the door open.

"Dobby…" Rose breathed out behind me, coming forward to bend down to the elfs height. The elf had obviously been crying and had a somber expression on his face, but seemed to light up spectacularly at the sight of Rose.

"Professor McGonagall said we was to be expecting you today, Rose Potter."

"Yes Dobby. I've come to see Cedric."

Dobby nodded, and took Rose by the hand, leading her into the room. Their procession stopped suddenly, and I knew she had clapped eyes on his body. She turned around quickly, facing towards me and the open door, her free hand rising to cover her mouth in a tight grip and her eyes watering with unshed tears.

"Potter." I moved forward quickly, beginning to lead her back out the door. As I touched her back, I could feel her shaking and rapid breathing beneath my hand.

"Come, Potter, you don't need to be here," I said, trying to be as gentle as I could be. Her body and mind had been under such stress these past few days, I had been so tempted to refuse her when she first came to ask me to show her to Cedric.

"No, no, no…" She shook her head rapidly, red hair swooshing across her face. "Just…give me a minute" she requested unsteadily.

I stepped back from her, as did Dobby, and looked to the wooden table where Cedric's stiff body lay. He looked peaceful, his eyes shut and arms resting at his sides as he lay in simple grey robes. I could smell all the potions traditionally used in the embalming process, and noted that at first glance he would appear to be sleeping to anyone who hadn't been at the tournament that night.

Rose seemed to have gathered herself then, and she turned around to face Cedric once more. She approached slowly, raising her hand to stroke his hair softly once she had reached him. She was crying as she did so, and I clenched my fists at her masochistic tendencies, no matter if I knew she needed to do this if she were ever to feel some closure.

"I'm sorry…" She almost whined out, her voice breaking and her head falling to rest in the space between his shoulder and neck. "I'm so sorry…"

She rested there for awhile, and I felt the need to look away as I always did at such overt displays of emotion. But I didn't, I knew I had to watch her in case she needed help.

She took his hand carefully, flinching at the coldness of his skin before wrapping his hand around hers. She looked down on him for some time, her lungs heaving as she tried to take in air despite her weeping. Finally, she pushed his hair back from his forehead, gently kissing him before pulling away. I heard her whisper "Forgive me…" before turning and nearly running out the door behind me, not turning to look back at all. She shoulder checked me in her hurry to leave the room, and though I rushed out behind her, she had run off.

"Miss Potter!" I yelled after her, though I knew she was long gone.

"She wants to be alone, sir." Dobby had appeared at my side, looking at the hall that Rose had disappeared down moments ago. "But I don't think she should be right now…"

His eyes rose as if to convey the seriousness of his meaning to me, and I wondered how he had developed such a bond with Rose.

I inclined my head towards him, but instead of following Rose, I headed to the headmaster's office. Whatever he might say, I was not the comforting type, and I knew he needed to be the one to speak to her.


	9. Chapter 9

_Why did you do that! Why would you do that!_ I chastised myself as I jogged back to the common room, students quickly moving out of my way as I went past them. If everyone didn't think I'd lost it before now, the rumors that would come out of my running through the castle between classes would surely seal that notion into everyone's heads.

 _Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid…_ I wish I hadn't gone to see him at all, he was so cold when I touched him, and felt so distant to me. I'd apologized to him at least, he deserved that much from me, but I felt no absolution in seeing him. It had just brought back the memory of the graveyard, the flash of green that had hit him as he stood in front of me, trying to shield me with his body.

I could feel my chest tightening and, struggling to gain a breath, I stumbled into an empty classroom in an attempt to stop myself from going into a full panic mode. It didn't work, and the feeling of a vice grip around my throat continued to worsen. The last time I had felt something like this, Cedric had been there to help me…

I'd been wandering back to Gryffindor Tower after yet another long night in the library attempting to figure out what the egg meant, my exhausted mind drawing a blank time and time again. I hadn't been paying attention to what was happening around me, lost in thoughts of what the clue could be, or how to decipher it…

Perhaps I should ask Hermione, the markings on the shell could be Ancient Runes for all I know…But no, eggs are meant to be cracked open after all, I need to figure out how to get the damn thing open to get to the clue…that must be it…

I felt the impact as someone walking in the opposite direction slammed into me, and though I stumbled I was able to regain my balance. I made to turn and make sure that whoever had run into me was alright when I saw that it was none other than Malfoy.

"You'd think that with those hideous glasses you'd be able to see where you're going, Potter" he sneered.

My hands clenched together at my sides, and I walked closer to him, sliding my wand from my pocket as I did so.

"I must've been blinded by your foul, ferret-face Malfoy. Tell me, do you even bother buying mirrors anymore? Seems like such a waste since they all crack when you look into them."

Malfoy's face scrunched in anger, and I smirked in amusement. Satisfied that I had won when he hadn't yet reacted with his own retort, I turned to continue walking on, my fluffy bed seeming to call my name. I shouldn't have turned my back, if I had learned anything from the Mad-Eye imposter Barty, I wouldn't have. For as soon as I did, my wand was tugged out of my hand and flew into Draco's, who then rushed at me with both of them held in his tight, sweaty grip.

"Fuck you, Potter! You should learn to keep your filthy trap shut before I do it for you!" His hand was steady as he pointed both his and my own wand at me, and for the first time, I thought he might be just brave enough to actually try something with me.

"Get away from me, Malfoy" I tried to shove past him, but he threw the wands aside to roughly push me back against the corridor wall, holding me there by the neck.

"Maybe I should finish what the dragon couldn't, eh Potter?" He grinned madly at me as I clawed at his hands, trying to get him to release his tight grip on my windpipe. "After all, there really should only be three champions anyway…it'd give Diggory a fighting chance against Krum."

His grip began to tighten even more, and the self-defense training Fred had been going over with me for the tournament began to kick in. I took my hands away from my neck to give a sharp, upward thrust in what I thought was the direction of Malfoy's face, though I couldn't quite see past my streaming eyes. I felt the crunch of his nose before he let go of my neck, kicking him where I knew it would hurt most before he went to the ground completely. I soon followed suit, collapsing to my knees as I wrapped my hands around my neck, delicately feeling for damage and trying to get my breath back.

I'd heard footsteps coming up behind me, and turned to see that it was Cedric, his Head Boy badge shining as he ran towards us.

"What's going on here?" He yelled, understanding dawning as he drew nearer to see my swelling neck and Malfoy curled up in pain on the floor. I'd never seen him angry before then, and it honestly frightened me a little to see someone who was usually so care-free and go-lucky to wear such a dark expression, his whole face clouding over as he turned towards Malfoy after making sure I could breathe.

"You filthy bastard, don't you ever come near her! I swear I'll kill you if you ever hurt her again!" He was fuming, his body angled in such a way as to form a barrier between Malfoy and I as he continued to yell. "Now go, get out of here and crawl back to your dungeon before I do something I'll regret!"

Draco needed no second warning and hobbled away as fast as he could towards the Slytherin dormitory.

Cedric had turned back to me then, trying to gently pull me to my feet as I meekly pushed him away, not needing his assistance.

"What the hell happened Rose? Why was he choking you?"

I laughed darkly at his question, my throat tensing in pain, before replying, "Because he's Malfoy and he can't walk away from an insult, that's why."

"Well, he's going to pay dearly for what he did to you, Rose. I'll put in a full incident report to Snape…"

I'd cut him off there, "Oh yes, I'm sure that'll whip him into shape! Snape would sooner praise than punish Malfoy for hurting me."

His eyes darkened once more, and he seemed about to say something else, so I cut him off, absolutely desperate at this point to get some sleep "Anyway, I think I'll be going to sleep now. Sorry you had to see that fight, I had it all in hand before you arrived you know."

"So I saw, I don't think he'll ever be trying anything with you again, not unless he ever wants to have children."

There it was, his characteristic crooked smile that made most girls swoon made an appearance.

"But really, you should go to the hospital wing, that's not gonna heal easily on its own." He looked concerned, but not as deadly mad as he had been before now that his smile was in place, though I could still see the anger brewing from behind his eyes.

"I'll have Hermione do it, she's good with healing spells…" I trailed off, and he finished with "And all other spells, really."

"Luckily that's true." I'd smiled back up at him shyly, before turning and heading back towards the dormitory.

"Consider yourself repaid for the warning you gave me about the dragons then, Rose!" he yelled after me.

"I didn't even need your help dealing with Draco!" I said, annoyed, my voice breaking from the strain that had just been put on my vocal chords "I took care of him myself!"

His usual confidence seemed to waver before he seemed to have an idea and came close to me once again, smiling as he drew near.

"What if I told you how to open the egg? Would my debt be repaid then?"

I'd stuttered out that it would be paid, in full, if he told me, so excited was I at finally cracking the egg and preparing myself for the second task.

"You know the Prefect's bathroom on the third floor?" I'd nodded that I did, "It's not a bad place for a bath." Seeing the confusion on my face, and sensing that I thought he was having a go at me, he quickly finished "Just take your egg, and...mull things over in the hot water."

He'd nodded once, as if to say his duty was now done, before wandering back down and away from me after I'd insisted that I did not need him to accompany me back to Gryffindor Tower. I'd gone to the bathroom the next night, squealing with joy (much to Myrtle's vexation) when I'd finally realized we'd be competing in the Black Lake. I remember feeling flooded with relief that I finally had something to work with, and could start preparing now thanks to none other than Cedric Diggory...When I'd gone into potions the next day, a white turtleneck covering the bruising that hadn't quite healed yet despite Hermione's best efforts, it was clear that Cedric must've told Snape about the incident. Never in living memory had he been so volatile to one of his precious Slytherins before, especially Draco.

That relief was gone in this moment, I knew nobody, especially not Cedric, was coming to help me breathe this time. I was on my own…


	10. Chapter 10

When I finally felt my panic attack slipping away, which no one, thank god, had been present for, I rose to my shaking feet and continued to the common room. My hands continued to shake as I forced one foot in front of the other, thinking that I'd like nothing better than a hot shower to steady my nerves.

No one was in the common room when I arrived, and I quickly made my way up to the girl's dormitory. I headed straight for the showers, grabbing my dressing gown off of my bedpost as I went. I turned the tap to as hot as it would go, undressed and removed my arm bandage, then moved to stand under the water. I turned to face the stream, letting it run over my face for so long that it almost lulled me to sleep before I stepped out and wrapped myself in my cozy white dressing gown. As I moved to the vanity to brush out my hair one of the sleeves fell down, low on my arm. I could see the cut Pettigrew had given me, the one that Madame Pomfrey couldn't heal. It had crusted over, making a deep purple line almost from my wrist to my elbow.

 _Great,_ I thought to myself. I was definitely going to get another perfectly obvious scar from this wound.

I lifted my eyes from the ugly, purpling scar to the vanity mirror. I wiped the steam from it to see that my face was bright pink from the hot water. I had an already-yellowing bruise above my eyebrow, and my forehead was wrinkled in an expression of pain and concern. My hated lightning-bolt scar was as present as ever. I stared at it in hatred, willing it to disappear from my skin. I traced every line and mark of it with my eyes as I glared, having memorized the exact shape of it long ago. The shape every other witch and wizard knew and so easily identified.

As I stared into the mirror, my anger grew and grew until I ran to my desk and yanked open the top drawer, pulling my pair of scissors roughly from their wooden compartment. Coming back to the mirror, I pulled the wet, red hair hanging against the side of my face forward until it covered my scar. Placing the scissors so that the cut would be just above my eyebrow, I brought them closed and watched as my hair slowly drifted to the bathroom floor. I did the same with the hair on the other side of my face, making sure that the scar would be completely covered. It was uneven, but it served the purpose that I wanted.

I headed back to my bed, drawing the curtains around myself and casting a Mufilato spell so I wouldn't be able to hear the girls when they came in. I noticed that most of them had their trunks packed already, and realized that I would need to pack mine when I awoke too. I drifted off almost immediately…more exhausted than I had ever remembered being before. For a while I dreamt of nothing, there was just the black nothingness that enveloped me in its embrace. And then I heard screaming…on and on it went, and there was nothing but the screams, they were all I could hear or think about, they took up everything in space. I realized they were coming from the stands; the tournament stands. I could hear Amos Diggory's screams louder than them all.

I was laying down on something soft, and I cast my eyes downward to see that Cedric was beneath me, still and unmoving. He made eye contact with me for a second, winked, then smirked, before going back to being dead…I jolted when he winked at me, _what was he doing?_

"You're scaring everyone Cedric, now stop play acting!" I said down to him. "Come on, get up before they think you're actually dead!"

But he didn't respond. I touched him gently on the cheek, and he was as cold as ice. Jerking my hand away, I felt someone grab my wrist and pull. They were pulling so hard I thought my hand would be pulled clean off from my arm, and then they started shaking me.

"Get up! C'mon, get up!" The arm-puller said. I turned away from Cedric to see who it was, and the distorted face of Mad-Eye-Moody came into view, his flesh bubbling away as it had when the polyjuice potion left his system. "Get up!" He kept screaming at me "Come with me now, get up!"

"No!" I yelled at him, "No no no no!"

"Rose, wake up!"

Heart racing, I opened my eyes and quickly sat up. I looked around wildly before I saw Hermione, eyeing me with concern.

Realizing I had been having a nightmare, I covered my face with my hands and took deep breaths to calm myself down.

"I'll go get Madame Pomfrey, shall I?" Hermione said, looking frazzled and worried.

"No, no don't" I replied, raising my head so that I could meet her eyes. "I'm okay now."

Hermione nodded, biting her lip like she always did during exams.

"What time is it?" I asked her, looking past her shoulder to see that it was now light outside.

"It's Thursday afternoon…you were already fast asleep when we all came in yesterday night. It's-"

Her voice halted, and then she tried again, clearing her throat "Cedric's memorial is in an hour…I wasn't sure if you wanted to go or not."

"Dumbledore thinks that I should go."

"Yes, but…if it's too soon, if you feel like you need more sleep?"

"No" I immediately replied, "I should go…I'll have to face everyone eventually."

"Alright" Hermione replied, smiling kindly. She offered to go grab food for me from the Great Hall, even bribing me with the fact that there was probably treacle tart left.

I shook my head in refusal, my stomach rolling at the thought of eating right now. I made to move out of the bed and dress, but as I did Hermione started to giggle.

"What?" I asked turning once again to face her.

"What on Earth did you do to your hair? I think Hagrid could've done a better cut!"

I reached up to feel my new bangs, I had forgotten that they were there. I went back to the bathroom mirror, noticing that the hair that I had let fall to the floor yesterday was now gone. Hermione came in behind me, and our eyes met in the mirror. I looked back to my bangs and burst into fits of laughter, Hermione soon joining me. My hair really did look awful.

Once we could breathe again through our giggles, Hermione turned me around to face her and began evening out the cut, growing and cutting my hair until it was perfectly even.

—

"Dumbledore, the girl hasn't been seen all day!"

"I'm well aware of that Severus, but I am sure she is just resting and preparing for the memorial."

"How can you be sure?" My fingers curled into fists as my temper flared, "You weren't there! You didn't see her expression after she left Diggory's body, I think we need to get McGonagall involved as soon as possible."

"Not yet, Severus. If she doesn't turn up to the memorial and Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley are unable to confirm her whereabouts, then of course we will go looking for her. But as you and I both know, to truly grief and heal requires time on one's own."

I rolled my eyes in frustration, but gave up my losing side of the battle with the old man, nodding my head in the affirmative.

"I shall see you soon then, headmaster"

"Very good, Severus" Dumbledore bobbed his head in acknowledgement, rising from his seat as I turned to leave.

"Oh, and Severus. Please be sure to speak with your students before the memorial…highlight the need of respect for the dead even when one's parents are involved in…certain political groups. I want no conflict between the Slytherins and the other houses tonight."

A certain understanding passed between us, and I could see how it pained the old man to have lost a student under his care.

I nodded my assent once again before exiting the office, making my way to the Slytherin common room.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione helped me down the stairs once we both looked presentable in our school robes, though per usual Madame Pomfrey had literally worked her magic and I barely needed assistance in getting around now. I didn't feel any pain coming from my sprained wrist unless I moved it at certain angles, and the injuries I'd sustained during the third task were nearly healed. Apart from the knife wound along my arm, I looked as good as new (or so Hermione had assured me as we descended to the common room).

The Hogwarts matron had been long-suffering in having me as a patient, but apart from Hagrid she was one of the first people I'd met from the wizarding world that I'd felt completely safe with. To say I was timid upon first coming to Hogwarts would be an understatement, and had I not quickly befriended Ron and Hermione my first year likely would've been a nightmare, notwithstanding all we'd been through together since then.

Madame Pomfrey had inoculated me along with other muggle-borns who hadn't already received their vaccinations the day after the welcoming feast, and though her brusque and hurried manner had intimated me as I waited in line for my shots, she'd ensured my care and comfort throughout the ordeal. Upon lifting my arm sleeve, she paused and then proceeded to turn my arm to and fro as she grasped my elbow. Her eyes quickly flitted to mine and she then creased her forehead, her mouth pinching together at the corners just as the terrifying Professor McGonogall's had when she'd looked down during her welcoming speech to find Neville's toad quietly chirping on the ground beneath her. Pomfrey had then quickly administered my shots, but unlike the other students she instructed me to wait on one of the hospital beds lining either side of the hall before leaving.

I sat for what seemed like ages, although it was likely not more than half an hour in reality, before she finally came to me again, having dismissed all of her other patients. She sat down softly in the creaky, wooden chair placed beside me, taking a deep breath before she began.

"Now Rose, I'm a bit concerned about how small and skinny you are. I would not expect a girl your age to have arms as slim as yours are, and with your permission I would like to put you on a regime of nutritional potions that will help you to gain weight and make sure you're getting enough sustenance to grow."

I hadn't drawn any conclusions as to why Madame Pomfrey might've asked me to wait after administering my shots, but if I had this would not have been it. None of my other school teachers or matrons had ever mentioned anything of this sort to me before, though thinking on it now my figure was always obscured by Dudley's gargantuan shirts. Of course I knew I was underfed, especially in comparison to what my cousin was given, but to have an adult confirm this with barely having glanced at me was somewhat shocking. Nevertheless, I nodded in affirmation of her suggestion readily, which seemed to please her.

"Very well. Now, since your first class will be with Professor Snape who is the potions master here at Hogwarts, I'll give you a note to hand to him at the end of class and we'll make sure that we can get your weight up to where it needs to be, alright lovely?"

"Yes ma'am" I replied, slightly worried as to what these potions would be exactly, but eager to try them if it would mean filling out more of Dudley's horrible hand-me-downs. Madame Pomfrey had quickly written a note for him and sent me on my way with a prompt "Right, now off to class you go dear. Don't forget to hand Professor Snape the note, mind you."

I nodded before quickly making my way to the dungeons, where I'd been told potions classes took place. It grew dark and dreary in the extreme as I continued downward, seemingly being swallowed by the castle as I continued to descend, passing some walls that were sprouting dark green moss in the damp air. I took a seat next to Hermione when I arrived, who began chirping instantly about her excitement for potions, for which she thought she would show a "real aptitude" for, and did she think we might brew a potion on our first day? She spoke so quickly that I was unable to reply, and so I mostly ignored her and looked around the classroom, ignoring Malfoy when he sent a sneer in my direction.

The door behind us banged open and in swooped Professor Snape, who I recognized as the man who'd been strangely and intently staring at me during the welcoming feast. He began his lecture quite rapidly, and I hurried to copy down everything he said, nearly spilling my ink pot over once in my enthusiasm to catch his every word. It was only once Hermione had elbowed me had I raised my head from my parchment to see the entire class staring back at me as well as Snape's thunderous eyes.

"Miss Potter…" he seemed to hiss, "…our new celebrity."

Snape had proceeded to humiliate me in front of nearly all of my peers, questioning me about things only Hermione could've bothered to learn for our first class. I'd been so disheartened and scared of him after this that I found it nearly impossible to approach him with the note Madame Pomfrey had told me to deliver, but I didn't want to disappoint her as I clearly had Professor Snape.

As the class shuffled out to attend lunch in the Great Hall, I lingered behind as Snape began wiping down the chalkboard, leaving white streaks behind in his rush to tidy the room for his next class. I cleared my throat as he did so, and he whipped around to lay eyes on me, scowl already on his face.

"I'm sorry, Madame Pomfrey wanted me to give this to you, Professor."

"What message could Pomfrey have possibly wanted _you_ to pass along, Potter" he spit out,

snatching the letter from my sweaty hands.

I could see his expression change rapidly as he read, the scowl steadily slipping from his face. I could tell when his eyes had stopped their back-and-forth reading motion as he reached the end of the note, but still he did not meet my eyes for some time after that. When he did, there was hardly a trace of malice in his voice as he asked me how many times a day I ate, what I was given to eat and when I was given it, etc. Though my voice shook and I couldn't meet his eyes as I answered, I was still truthful in my replies, and he seemed to be taking detailed notes of everything that I told him. When he had finished with all of his questions, he told me to go to the Great Hall for lunch and he would be in contact with Madame Pomfrey once the proper potion had been brewed for me. It took him only that night to finish concocting the right recipe, something which, as Madame Pomfrey told me soon after I'd arrived at the hospital wing for my first dose, usually took the potions master at least a week's worth of spare time to finish.

It was one of those rare times when I believed he might actually care for me somewhat, like the time I'd found out he'd been attempting a counter curse against Quirrell's attack on my broomstick or when he'd held the straw for me to drink from a few days ago in the hospital wing. Without fail after every summer break thus far Madame Pomfrey had brought me in for some "fattening up," especially before she would clear my physical check to play Quidditch, and without fail my potion had always been there, freshly brewed. And though I'd still never told anyone the extent of the Dursley's strictness with me, it seemed that at least Snape and Madame Pomfrey had some lurking suspicions about it.

It was Fred and George who brought me back to reality as Hermione and I reached the common room, as they came forward in unison to quickly lock me into a tight embrace.

"You don't need to go to this, you know" Fred whispered as they continued to squeeze me in a bear hug.

"We'll go for a walk with you instead if you like, or for a swim in the lake even" George added, softly patting my back with his one hand that wasn't being crushed between us.

"I won't be going anywhere except back to the hospital wing if you don't let me breathe soon" I replied, uncomfortable with their for-once serious demeanor and so trying to make a joke of their concern.

They both chuckled slightly and pulled back, Fred giving me the obligatory older-brother type of head noogie before I could move too far away from them.

Besides the Weasley's, Hermione, and myself, the common room was empty, for which I was grateful. Ron came forward to give me a quick squeeze on the shoulder before leading me out, and Hermione came up to walk on my other side.

I willed myself not to think of the memorial service to come, and instead proceeded to create a list of everything I would need to pack before leaving tomorrow morning in my head. I was still working on it, my mind running a million miles an hour as I refused to let it focus on anything else besides the packing list, when we arrived at the Great Hall.


End file.
